why i hate flowers

i really *love* flowers. but 90% of the time i get flowers ... it means someone really screwed up. occasionally i get flowers (that i don't buy!) for celebration or because someone is thinking of me and i *love* that. but most of the time it means someone really screwed up and i'm mad/upset.

when you have done something that upsets me, do not buy me flowers. here's what happens. you do something stupid. i get upset. you buy flowers as a gesture of goodwill or some other nonsense. you're basically trying to kiss up to me and make me forget you did something stupid. but flowers (or any other gift at this moment) does the exact opposite. everytime i look at those flowers i'm reminded that you did something stupid. but it's now compounded by the fact that you're also trying to get out of the fallout of what ever stupid thing you did. so now i'm looking at these beautiful flowers and just getting more upset. flowers are bad.

when you do something stupid that upsets me, apologize. immediately. sincerely. then step back and let me be upset. because you did something stupid and i'm going to be upset. i'm not going to be upset forever. and if you've made a sincere apology and taken steps to correct whatever stupid thing you did and not try to avoid me being upset, i'll calm down and forgive and forget sooner rather than later.

whatever you do ... do *not* try to 'do something nice' for me at this point. do something nice for me because you want to. not because you did something stupid and are trying to make up for it. doing something nice now is just going to irritate me more.