hook ups

recent boston.com article posed the theory that hook ups are bad for girls. not exactly a new theory. and i wouldn't disagree that as a long term way of life it's probably a bad thing. (we can paraphrase 'the wedding singer' here: fonzie's show got cancelled cuz no one wants to see 40 year olds hitting on young girls.) but hook ups for the right reason can be healthy. i really think my hook up with RF was one of the smartest and healthiest things i did. i was hitting burn out from the stupid boys i was trying to date ... he was a friend ... we knew what the rules were when we got involved ... he treated me well. it gave me the attention i needed and wasn't finding from my dates. it got me away from the dating drama. it helped me rebalance and prioritize what i wanted from a significant other. without that experience ... i don't think i would have recognized how special bill is.

-s

huh?

i had something very important and exciting to use for a journal topic ... and now i can't remember what it was. crazy busy day. all worked up. between the decision for bill to move in and the vlad discussions and work and rj (doesn't want to go to daddy's tonight and wanted to come to work with mommy until he realized the big kids were at sonja's today and K orientation is next week for parents) and there were more things but ... i forget.

-s

to cohabitate or not

are we ready for the big step? i'm thinking yes. he's at my house with me more often than i'm there by myself. altho he still prolly spends more time in wayland than at my house overall. the only stumbling block i see is vlad. he's not ready to give him up - and i can't blame him, i wouldn't be ready to give up sage. i'm not sure i'm willing to have him at my house. i certainly don't want to listen to mom about it. i'm concerned about homeowners insurance and rich. i think we can safely secure him, but ... still risks. i had a list of criteria that i thought i was ok with until i read a bunch of sites. except vlad doesn't seem to fit what the sites say. after calming down about the information on the sites, i think my critieria is ok. guess the best option is to run it by him and sleep on it to see how we feel.

-s

planning your career is overrated

finally evidence that someone else thinks as i do:

http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/02/04/why-career-planning-may-be-time-wasted-and-personal-finance-planning-isnt/

the premise that planning your career may be time wasted. i spent years planning to go to law school. never did. and then a couple years struggling to become a software developer. got scared off when i got a good look at THAT field! fell into release engineering and have enjoyed the last 10 years of my career. will i do it forever? probably not. do i know what i want to do next? careers are changing and changing fast. i'm exposed to new options every day ... how can i decide now what i want to do in 5 years when that position may not even be invented for another 4 years? seems to make more sense to focus on doing what i enjoy and doing it well.

-s

what to write?

it used to be much easier to sit and write for hours and i took such pleasure in it. these days it feels more like a chore than a joy. have i just gotten out of the habit, or have i found other ways to derive the pleasure i used to get from writing? i suppose it might be similar to my piano playing ... i'm out of practice and short on time and just feel lazy about putting in the time to write or play better because i'm not writing and playing as well as i used to. at least this writing thing (when i remember) is something i can work at in 5 minutes spurts. piano really requires a good 20 minutes to make any progress.

-s

journaling 'today's review', marriage

wow ... big life mistake is today's journaling topic. um. where to start? LOL! mistakes suck but in retrospect i see how they got me to where i am - like my marriage. i knew something was wrong the night before the wedding and yet i went through with it anyway. cost me a lot of money, but i have a wonderful son, i learned a lot about relationships, made some amazing friends ... would bill and i be able to navigate our relationship as well without what i learned from that experience? how else would i have gotten that knowledge? there were probably easier (and harder ways) to learn these lessons, but things happen for a reason and that's the way i needed to learn the lesson.

'today's review'
another assignment ... i'm doing better with this whole journaling thing than i expected to, but now a nightly 'today's review' assignment??? (can this go with my 5 good things blog?) i like the idea ... maybe just a good way to keep the journal going ... we'll see.

• Your achievements today
• Any mistakes you made
• What you learned from both of them

-s

100 questions

1. who is dan eldon?
2. why did he die at 22?
3. why is he referenced in the think like leonardo course?
4. what language do i want to learn next?
5. where do i want to travel next?
6. how will bill and ralphie get along?
7. what will the trip to philly be like?
8. will i get to show bill the sites in philly?
9. how will i like atlantic city?
10. will my tax return be in before we go to atlantic city?
11. should i set aside some money for that trip from the tax refund?
12. how much will the living room and playroom renovations cost?
13. should i use lowes or empire for the carpeting?
14. what is this song on pandora?
15. am i running out of questions?
16. is this a silly activity?
17. when am i going to make my 100 things about me list?
18. am i going to do it for 2007 before it's 2008?
19. how many more days until 2008?
20. am i supposed to be writing these completely random questions?
21. how random are the questions other people going through this course are coming up with?
22. can i come up with a question that takes up more than one line in this editor?
23. will my brain be this mellow when i go to bed tonight?
24. what will my new job be like?
25. will laura be cool with the time off for philly?
26. will pete really let me go with just my goals?
27. who will notice my ring?
28. what will mom say?
29. how long until audra, tammy, tray notice?
30. will i get to see the baby tomorrow?
31. should i finish my tea?
32. does madonna still sing material girl on tour?
33. is she going to drop the british accent when she moves back to the us?
34. is she really moving back to the us?
35. do i really care?
36. why do people obsess over the tabloids?
37. when am i going to the grocery store again?
38. what else do i need other than dog food?
39. what is the significance of these completely mundane questions?
40. do they mean i'm boring and not creative?
41. when is rich going to notice the ring?
42. what is he going to say?
43. how do i feel about getting remarried?
44. what am i going to do if the stock does well?
45. how will i best use that money?
46. how do i find a financial advisor to help me?
47. does everyone's to do list keep growing like mine?
48. how long until i get to go dancing again?
49. what am i going to wear on saturday night?
50. what's the weather supposed to be on saturday?
51. will i have my period by saturday or will i still be all bloat-y?
52. what's going on with tray and margaret?
53. is margaret going to tag along?
54. where are we going to go?
55. who's playing at the harp?
56. what ever happened to mark?
57. should i call anna about 'ritas friday night after i see the baby?
58. when should i plan time with gram for her scrap book?
59. will milford schools let RJ start 1st grade?
60. when will i be able to find out?
61. what will i do if they don't?
62. when does soccer start?
63. does rj have all the equipment he needs?
64. how many more questions to go?
65. why is this task getting tedious?
66. why are my typing skills deteriorating so quickly?
67. why is my grasp of grammar deteriorating?
68. am i just getting tired?
69. what am i doing for lunch tomorrow?
70. will i eat with jen?
71. should we do a 'last hurrah' at the pizzeria?
72. when is def leppard touring again?
73. is there any truth to the rumors of the kiss tour?
74. are they finally done with their record contract?
75. will they put out a good album again instead of remakes and remixes?
76. why are they overlooked when bon jovi is still popular?
77. is bon jovi's look just more marketable?
78. how much longer is this going to take?
79. why is this boring me so much?
80. has it been too long since i really journaled and wrote?
81. who would IM me if i signed on now?
82. whatever happened to dave?
83. what makes me unblock the creeps i haven't talked to in awhile?
84. what kind of yarn should i use to try designing my own sweater pattern?
85. how much effort will it be to design my own pattern?
86. when will i get to joanne's to get yarn for katelynne's booties and rachel's wrap?
87. when will i have the time to do them?
88. how am i doing on my to do list for my spa day with tammy?
89. why didn't we include a $10/wk contribution to a spa day fund as a goal?
90. what is tammy up to?
91. how is corey doing with the divorce?
92. what was frustrating about 'nothing' happening yesterday for tammy?
93. what was she expecting to happen?
94. was corey freaked by the freedom yesterday?
95. who has the time to come up with all these remakes to pop songs?
96. what's the point of the remixes?
97. what am i going to use for my last 3 questions?
98. what time will i get to bed tonight?
99. should i fold more laundry?
100. when am i giving tray her bday present?

reservation 'rewards'

i'm fairly computer and net savvy. hell, it's my JOB. yet i still managed to get suckered into a web scam with 'reservation rewards' through fandango.com. i bought movie tickets through fandango several months ago and then these 'reservationr' charges started appearing on my checking statements for $10. somehow i opted in for this 'benefit'. i have a similar benefit through work. for free. why would i opt to pay $10/mo for this? especially when i had to spend 30 minutes searching the 'net to figure out what the hell the charge was and what the 'benefit' is. people suck.

-s

journaling

so i'm reading this online course on how to think like da vinci and the first assignment is about the importance of journaling. and journaling on a daily basis.

detour for mom ... came home to find someone had broken into her house. that sucks. so far she knows they got the change she was saving for rj. then i told her to call the police and get out. so last i heard she's waiting for the all clear from the police and then gets to spend the evening figuring out what's missing and cleaning up and locking up. again with the sucking.

but now that the crisis is averted (it is averted? or merely in the hands of professionals at this point?) ... need to start journaling again. let's see how long this lasts ;)

-s